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Get “Fully Charged” at the Circus & Ticket Giveaway!


If you have young ones with the attention spans of gnats, the circus is the perfect show for you.  We went last year, and the kids were fully engaged.  You can take a family of four for less than $50, and the best part is, if they start acting up, you can just leave them there.

I’m giving away a Four Tickets to a special Media Night on Wednesday, July 27th.  For your Chance to win, just leave a comment below!

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® has a special $48 Family Four Pack price to their latest show Fully Charged, where megawatts of thrills explode off the arena floor with breathtaking dare-devilry, superhuman stunts and never-before-seen performances that will energize Children Of All Ages!

Be sure to arrive early, because all ticket holders have access to the Pre-Show Power-Up Party where families can step onto the arena floor to meet the performers, try on costumes, learn circus skills through the CircusFit® program and get a chance to see a remarkable elephant paint a masterpiece, The All Access Pre-Show Power-Up Party is FREE with a purchased ticket!


WHAT:        Elephants and tigers, high-wire acts, The Human Fuse, Clown Alley, and a gaggle of showcases to Fully Charge  your evening!

WHEN:        Wednesday, July 20, 2011 – Sunday, August 14, 2011

WHERE:               Los Angeles – Staples Center:  Wednesday, July 20 – Sunday, July 24

1111 South Figueroa Street, Los Angeles 90015

Tickets  – $12 (opening night), $15, $20, $25, $40 (VIP), $70 (Front Row) and $100 (Circus Celebrity)

  • Wednesday, July 20 – 7:30pm
  • Thursday, July 21 – 12:00pm, 7:30pm
  • Friday, July 22 – 12:00pm, 7:30pm
  • Saturday, July 23 – 11:30am, 3:30pm, 7:30pm
  • Sunday, July 24 – 11:30am, 3:30pm, 7:30pm

Orange County – Honda Center:  Wednesday, July 27 – Sunday, August 7
2695 E. Katella, Anaheim, CA 92806

Tickets  – $12 (opening night), $15, $20, $25, $40 (VIP), $70 (Front Row) and $100 (Circus Celebrity)


  • Wednesday, July 27 – 7:30pm
  • Thursday, July 28 – 1:00pm, 7:30pm
  • Friday, July 29 – 10:30am, 7:30pm
  • Saturday, July 30 – 11:30am, 3:30pm, 7:30pm
  • Sunday, July 31 – 1:30pm, 5:30pm
  • Tuesday, August 2 – 7:30pm
  • Wednesday, August 3 – 1:00pm, 7:30pm
  • Thursday, August 4 – 10:30am, 7:30pm
  • Friday, August 5 – 1:00pm, 7:30pm
  • Saturday, August 6  – 11:30am, 3:30pm, 7:30pm
  • Sunday, August 7 – 1:30pm, 5:30pm


Inland Empire – Citizens Business Bank Arena:  Wednesday, August 10 – Sunday, August 14

                                4000 Ontario Center Parkway, Ontario, CA 91764

                                Tickets  – $12 (opening night), $15, $20, $25, $40 (VIP), and $70 (Front Row)


  • Wednesday, August 10 – 7:30pm
  • Thursday, August 11 – 7:30pm
  • Friday, August 12 – 12:00pm, 7:30pm
  • Saturday, August 13 – 11:30am, 3:30pm, 7:30pm
  • Sunday, August 14 – 11:30am, 3:30pm, 7:30pm

TICKETS:               Show ticket prices range from $12 – $100

                                Opening Night tickets available for only $12 each (not valid for premium seating) 

HOW:  All seats are reserved and available at the venue Box Office, online at or by calling 800-745-3000, or click here for the information on the Family Four Pack.

And, I was just kidding about leaving your kids.  You have to take them home with you after the show.

Again, for your chance to win 4 Tickets, just leave a comment below.  I’ll draw the winner by random on Monday, 7/25.


Update… We have a winner.  Comment #1 is the winner.  I’ll contact you via email for instructions on how to pick up the tickets.  Thanks to both of the entrants for playing!


Hockey Pucker!


I know it’s the middle of summer, but what better way to cool off than than to sit in a freezing arena and watch your little one make prat falls on ice?  KHS Arena, also known as Wildcats Hockey, offers free hockey for your Duck or King-to-be. KHS Arena is in a building about a mile west of “The Pond” (Honda Center). This class is for both boys and girls from 3 years old to 8 years old with no previous experience in hockey or skating.

Why would they offer this program? Coach Wess Estes says that it’s a great way to introduce hockey to little ones without having to buy all the equipment just to find out your kid doesn’t like it. He knows that hockey is a big commitment for both player and parent, and his program eases the barriers to entry.

It’s seriously a great program, and the awesome coaching staff will have your little pucker skating within 1-2 sessions. If for no other reason, the photo opportunities alone are worth the enrollment.

The KHS Free Hockey Class includes:

  • (4) One Hour Classes with experienced coaches
  • (4) Public Sessions/Stick
  • Time for self practice time
  • All the loaner Equipment you will need including: Skates, Jersey, Helmet, Shin Guards,  Hockey Pants, Elbow Pads, Shoulder Pads, Gloves and an equipment bag to hold it all.

All you need to get started is a refundable deposit (check or credit card) for the equipment, and some thick skin as a parent; your kid will fall, but they all seem to love it.

They also have a learn to skate program if any of you ladies want to saddle your broken ice princess dreams on the skates of your little girls.

Getting started is pretty easy. Just contact Cherrie Sweeney (714) 422-1236 ext. 253 or at to sign up, or go to Don’t be discouraged if the people answering the phone don’t have all the info. After all, it is free.

Later Skater!

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What Can “Brown” Do For You?


In what many women would consider a sign of marriage doom, I scheduled my honeymoon around the Lakers playoffs.  My wife and I were married on June 9 almost 10 years ago, right in the warm, gooey center of the Lakers last 3-peat (I don’t care, I’m not paying Riley any royalties for that usage).  We ended up in Aruba where I was promised the resort had “American TV;” they did.  There were a few doctor’s kids there from Philly.  Lakers had lost their only game of the entire playoffs to Iverson’s Sixers, so these “ne’er do poor” punks were full of bravado.  That was Sunday. Their vacation and title hopes were done by Friday.

My point is, I’m a feverish Lakers fan.  Not having Lakers basketball in late May, much less June, is disconcerting.  The Lakers have been in the finals in seven of the last 10 years, so imagine my dismay when the team quit against what seemed to be a “soft” Mav’s team just 17 days ago.  I’ve been relegated to feigning interest in “Real Housewives” episodes ’cause I can’t bear to devote three hours to the likes of Miami or Dallas (NBA Teams, not Housewives).  The inevitable finals match-up of disgusting, apostate star and a reprehensible owner may be good TV, but it’s gut-wrenching to me to know that one of those two “personalities” will have a championship.

Today, Laker nation was hit with another blow.  Mike Brown was announced as the new Lakers coach.  Mike Brown… the name an amalgamation of two of the most nondescript names in America.  He’s a veritable “Joe Smith,” even though the Lakers already have one of those.

If you don’t follow basketball very closely, that name means nothing to you.  If you do follow basketball closely, then your response to the Jim Buss hiring of Mike Brown is likely “who?”  Brown is lauded for his “definitive minded” teams, but Brown is also a proven loser.  He’s lost at the highest levels; his Cavaliers were swept by the Spurs in the 1997 NBA Finals. He lost his best player, Lebron James, who was ostensibly cavalier in the Cavalier’s ousting in the 2010 playoffs.  That loss led to the loss of his job.

What’s the worst thing about the Brown hiring?  Inevitably, it’s the terrible UPS puns, “What Can Brown Do For You?”  Beyond that, it’s the elephant on the court that only a few news agencies seem to acknowledge.  Kobe Bryant, by all reports, hasn’t had any input on the situation.  Jerry Buss’s kid can think what he wants, but this is Kobe’s team.  If Kobe doesn’t endorse the offering, then Mike Brown doesn’t stand a chance.  Buss’s attempt to put his stamp on the Laker organization may backfire; his stamp may be a parcel post delivery of this team into turmoil.  When Al Davis when sideways on Marcus Allen decades ago, his Raiders followed suit.

Also, L.A. is known for “Showtime” and “The Lake Show”.  I don’t think 72-69 wins are going to appease a triple-digit paying Staples Center public. Brown better concentrate on offense.  I don’t think he’ll have a problem in that regard.  This Lakers team has veteran offensive weapons (Kobe, Pau, Lamar) and explosive youth (Andrew Bynum, Shannon Brown).  Scoring should be easier than sex with a hooker.

But Brown is a “ra-ra” guy.  Coming from a climate where the ex-head coach was visibly stoic in adversity, Brown’s animations may not be welcome in a Lakers huddle.  Time will tell, but for my money, Brown’s first worst move was not reaching out to Kobe before he took the job. An endorsement from the team’s true leader and rightful league MVP (OK, maybe not this year) would go far to ease the anxiety of this Lakers fan.

Do what you will Mike Brown and Jim Buss.  Just know that 1) This hire may be a bigger gamble than Jerry Buss driving drunk the wrong way with a 23-year-old passenger (read: escort) and 2) This Lakers fan’s fever might break if you screw it up too much… afterall, I may have some “Royals” to root for right here in Orange County, and I’m not talking about William and Kate.

The Bitch is Back


I’m referring to The Bachelorette, of course. Problem is, she’s not really a bitch. She’s a little indecisive, perhaps a little too cutsie, but she’s not a bitch. She’s nice. She’s not particularly gorgeous either. She’s pleasant, and she’s on her way to being a dentist. So she’s a boring, wishy washy, so-so looking, somewhat single girl with a stable career. Is that the best you could do ABC?

Seriously, why don’t you follow the lead of NBC and put some real bitches on a reality show?  Nene Leakes from The Apprentice would be a great choice. Now that girl’s a bitch. I realize full well that if Nene were to read this, she would be finger-wagging, “oh hell no-ing” and coming for me like a cheetah after a wounded gazelle.

If Ashely caught wind of me calling her by some dirty slang, she’d probably bat her lashes and say “awww, that’s not nice.”  You wanna’ know what that’s not? That’s not good TV. Nene is, and if my Housewives of Atlanta plotlines are up to date, the bitch is single too.

So ABC, please do us a favor, and put some spice in the show, as in Spice Channel. If you can’t put someone interesting or smokin’ hot in the 8 p.m. Monday timeslot, at least make her slutty. It’s not like you’ll have Monday Night Football anytime soon, so you better get all your contact sporting out on The Bachelorette herself.

By the way, having the liqour distributor get pass-out drunk on the first night was a nice touch. Let’s set the bar nice and low for this season and see what derelicts dare try to limbo underneath. Here’s to a season of rainbows, unicorns and debauchery… don’t let us down Ash.

Lakers Myopia


Myopia… It’s not just a disease of the eyes.  It’s a fancy way to say you can’t see the big picture.  Laker fans, I’d like you to take a macro view of the situation.  Macro is just a fancy way to say “big picture.”  This is not Alcoholics Anonymous.  It is not “one day at a time.”  This is about the whole, or as they say in the liberal arts, “the Gestalt“… a fancy way to say that the sum of the parts is greater than the whole.

File:Kobe Trophy Parade.jpgWhat am I getting at?  Well, the Lakers were in this exact situation last year.  In 2010, the OKC Thunder took the Lakers to 2-2, only to get rocked in game 6.  Two years ago, the Lakers went to 7 games in the first round against a Houston Rockets squad led by Shane Battier.  We’ve been here before, and we’ve prevailed.

The Western Conference is strong as always.  The East is tougher than it’s been in decades.  Don’t look at one flailing “soccer play” by Pau Gasol and think it summarizes the Lakers.  It doesn’t.  The Lakers are stronger than they’ve ever been.  Lamar is a better player than he’s ever been in purple in gold or any other color.  This year we have Artest AND Arizza (OK, it’s Barnes, but there’s not much dropoff from Trevor).  We have a “healthy” Bynum and a backup point guard that knows and plays the triangle.

This is the same script as the first two.  Don’t worry.  The Lakers are the heros, and they’ll leave with the prettiest girl in the room.  It’s just odd that her name will be Larry O’Brien.

The McCourt of Public Opinion


*Repost given breaking news “Baseball Takes Over Control of Los Angeles Dodgers

This is my official plea.  I want Mark Cuban to buy the Dodgers.

Los Angeles Superior Court Comissioner Scott Gordon suggested that the McCourts sell the team in an attempt to settle their divorce dispute.  I’m not sure who’s at fault, and I’m not a huge fan of the parking lot attendant, but have you seen Mrs. McCourt?  She definely doesn’t look like some rich guy’s wife. She requested $1,000,000 per month in alimony.  Come on, who can survive in Los Angeles on less than $12 million per year?  I think the creatures on “Alien vols. 1-3” are more sympathetic than her… and perhaps, a little better looking.   

He’s not so compelling of a case himself.  Frank McCourt is noted as saying “Why would I spend $150 million to win 98 games when I can spend half that to win 90, if that’s all it takes to make the playoffs in our division?”

Cuban would say, why wouldn’t I spend $150 million if it got me home-field throughout the playoffs?

Mark, this is my love letter to you.  I want you.  You are beautiful.  The way you incur NBA fine money and spend in free agency is truly sexy.  You are a fool, but you are a fool for love.  Besides, the MLB commissioner is just a shell of the NBA’s David Stern.  Your antics would go almost un-noticed.  Come to L.A. and spread that foolish love.  Preserve what the Dodgers are all about, but infuse your crazy, infectious energy into them… and by energy, I mean free-agency cash.

Mark, you were thwarted in your bid for the Cubs, even though your bid was the highest.  But in true bachelor fashion, this time around you are the McCourter; you are the bachelor.  Please choose L.A.  I know you have the Texas Rangers with their insolvency.  They may look like the hot pick sitting in first place, but they are not your best option.  Heck, even GW Bush divested in them.

So do the prudent thing.  Do the right thing.  Do the L.A. thang and buy the Dodgers.

But if you marry, just make sure you sign a pre-nup… We don’t want any chick crazier than you coming along and screwing it up.

Ol’ McDonald Had a Quirk


This season on American Idol has been really good and kind of difficult. There is a breadth of talent like no other season has had. I don’t think the touring 10 (the ones that “get” to hit 60 cities in 30 days, that is) has ever been so collectively good. There’s no Kelly Clarkson this year. There are no standouts; Paul stands out for wardrobe choices, there there isn’t any one, clear favorite.

My advice to Paul (since he’s asking) is to put a record out tomorrow and get it on the shelves as quickly as possible before your target audience of under-sexed Southwestern grocery store clerks forgets about your raspy voice and pearly whites. You, sir, were likely the best showman of the bunch, but admittedly, had the least vocal chops. Do this pronto, because it won’t be long before your slumming Nashville bars, Branson stages, and artsy coffee shops.

The one that might garner the largest support because of his mid-american appeal may be the least likely winner on the Cowell-scale. The Frankensteinian creation to whom I refer, of course, is the guy who would be the likely product if Josh Turner and Alfed E. Newman had an offspring.

This guy, too, is quirky. Not because of any Nudie Suits (look it up), but because this guy is a total dichotomy. He’s kind of cool, and totally geeky at the same time. He has a cheesy sort of genuineity (yes, I’m making up words now) that plays well in Poughkeepsie and Plano, TX. The dude has some serious docile pipes, the kind 3-boxes-a-day of filter-less Camels couldn’t breed. Hearing that voice come out of that floppy-eared head is the same sort of visual – auditory incongruity you get when you see a muscle bound, face-tatted Mike Tyson squeak like a chew toy.

We’ve got a rocker, a crooner, a hipster, a soul daddy, a country bell, a cabaret singer and Stefano left. It sounds like the bridge to a punchline, but if you ask me, it’s a pretty great season of Idol. Despite the fact that watching American Idol isn’t supposed to be cool, this season is exactly that.