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Bachelor’s third degree

01/04/2011

Bachelor Brad Womack is back which makes him a glutton for punishment.  Is he a massochist?  On the contrary, I think he’s more of a sadist.  His last stint on the sensationalized ABC Monday night primer, he left two women standing at the altar.

It what was a total show of class, ABC “surprised” brad by bringing the two woman he dumped a few seasons before on stage; Can you say “awkward?”As if that wasn’t enough, tonight, he was quite literally greeted with a slap.  The first woman out of the cavalcade of limos put her palm to the face of the Bachelor redux saying “this is on behalf of America”… SPOILER ALERT: She did not get a rose (correction: she got the last rose).  Most of the remaining contestants were grilling the BachelorX2 about his first time around.  The first one who didn’t got the “first impression rose.”

Ouch! Brad Womack gets slapped by Bachelor contestant Chantal

Brad assured the ladies that he was a changed man, and that he did a lot of “soul searching” including some “intensive therapy” and that this time, he was ready for matrimony.   That is to say that the last time around, he wasn’t so much soul searching as he was hole searching (my interpretation).

Poor Brad.  Why not give him a second shot? Really, how was this tall, ruggedly handsome Austinite ever going to find a woman as a rich man in the third-fastest-growing large city in the nation?  Seriously, how could this upscale bar-restaurant owner ever find a woman in the “The Live Music Capital of the World.”  How indeed would he find love in the capital city of Texas, the home of University of Texas Longhorns, in what the The Travel channel deems “America’s #1 College Town?”  The deck is clearly stacked against him.

Is our pool of bachelors in this nation so depleted that the ABC execs had to give handsome Brad another shot?  Whatever.  It looks like another great season.  Fangs: Brad was bemused by model Madison who sported vampire style fangs

The big brain on Brad picked a woman who quite literally wants to stick her fangs into him.  This vampire aficionado has had what appears to be surgically enhanced… err… canines.

There’s also the token “I’m not here to make friends; I’m here for love” girl, which, of course, is code for “total bitch.”

There’s a Radio City Rockette, who may just have legs on this show (pun intended).

Acrobatic: Contestant Keltie attempted to impress Brad with a few high kicking moves

And there’s the usual batch of crazy, catty and committable chicks.   So welcome back Brad.  It’s only a shame that he had to send 10 of the fame whores back home after just one night.


Front-runners after show one:  Ashley S. and Emily.   Of course, I’m rooting for the double-heartbreak.  There’s no way he could do it again, could he?



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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Michelle permalink
    01/04/2011 7:48 pm

    Oh, but he could….and he might.

    Keep this blog going, dude. I need my Bachelor recap!

  2. Jenelyn permalink
    01/04/2011 8:48 pm

    I turned it on and saw that chick with the fangs. And then I turned it off. Good thing I can come to your blog for recaps!

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