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The Most Important Off-Season Acquisition is…

11/24/2010

The Dodgers are in desperate need of a veteran starting pitcher.  But that’s not their biggest need.  They also need to bolster that young line-up with another power-hitting threat, preferably at one of the the corners.  That still is not what they need most.  What the Dodgers really need is… wait for it… a Kardashian… stick with me here.

My postualtion sounds a little less preposterous when you analyze the facts.  This isn’t money ball; it’s honey ball.  Just look what happened to Reggie Bush.  He gets with Kim and her two-cheek entourage, and he wins a Superbowl.  He breaks up with her and all hell and Heisman’s break loose.

Lamar Odom has been in the league for 10 years, all the while trying to reach his “potential”; He’s finally there.  The only variable in that equation the addition of a Kardashian.  He gives a the bling to Khloe, and he gets two championship rings back.

For those reasons, we need to go after the lone Kardashian left.  The little one.  I literally don’t know her name.  But the Dodgers need to get Matt Kemp to drop that sucubus Rhianna and get with the little Dash.  She is the key to the Dodgers’ future.  So Coletti, if you are reading, make some calls.  Get the Millionaire Matchmaker on the case if you must, but please make this happen.  The future of the Blue Crew depends on it. 

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Tammie permalink
    11/29/2010 1:52 pm

    Okay, this made me laugh out loud! I’m a die-hard tru blue fan…and I think you may be on to something here! I’m with you, I’ll be forwarding a letter to Coletti! Great post!

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