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Man-crush (in-law)

09/21/2010

This weekend, I golfed with Patrick Warburton (‘s brother-in-law, Chad).  If you don’t know who Patrick Warburton is, then you are almost as big of a dummy as the character he plays on CBS’s underrated Rules of Engagement.  He’s “Puddy,” Elaine’s BF on Seinfeld.  On The Family Guy, he’s Peter’s wheelchair-bound cop neighbor, and on to the younger generation, he’s Kronk on The Emporer’s New School.  He’s got range, people.  He’s been The Tick, a Super-PC in the Mac commercials.  He’s been in a Brad Paisley video, and if you’ve ever flown the friendly skies of DCA‘s “Soarin’ Over California,” then he was your captain speaking.  I’m sure I creeped the poor guy (‘s brother-in-law) out by knowing his résumé more completely than he did.

My wife says I have “a man crush” on him.  When I watch his show, I’ll chamber a few belly laughs only to unload them inappropriately and uncontrollably when he drops dialog.  His Jeff Bingham character on Rules is not too far from (what his brother-in-law describes as) his own demeanor.  His delivery is as dry and stirring as fresh coffee grounds, and his wit comes from his 70/30 mix of could-care-less and clueless.  That, and he’s classically trained in the “squints a lot” school of a acting.

His (brother-in-law’s) swing was pretty good.  He invited me to his (brother-in-law’s) golf tournament… well, invite might be strong.  He mentioned it.  Oh, and he (Chad not Patrick) has a local poker game; I invited myself in on that.  Curiously, Chad took off before I could “get him my digits.”

Deus mio!

It’s not like I’m some crazy stalker or something.  Just because I can recite the entire Seinfeld “deus mio/face painter” episode, and happen to know that the immensely talented Warburton is happily married since 1991 and lives in Camarillo with his wife and four kids.  That’s common knowledge.

I’m not obsessed… though I did just schedule a taping of his show on the Sony Studios Lot (you might want to go ahead and alert security).

If you, however, want to see him without being placed on a “watch list,” then just tune in to CBS on Mondays at 8:30, sandwiched between How I Met Your Mother (will we ever find out?) and Two-and-a-Half Men… or you could do like I did and stalk his brother-in-law, Chad, at the Fullerton Golf Course.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. 09/21/2010 8:00 am

    Oh I have a real serious crush on him. LIKE SERIOUS.

  2. Vodka and Ground Beef permalink
    09/23/2010 11:13 pm

    I loved this guy as Puddy on Seinfeld – one of my favorite character on the show!!!. Hope you get to hang out with your man crush. I see nothing wrong with that. If I ever get to hang out with Condoleeza Rice, I’d be stoked.

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