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5 reasons why you will lose your husband

09/09/2010

Your Hubby's Work-League Fantasy Commish

Ladies, say goodbye to your husbands.  No, not because of that new hussy admin that works in his office, but because it’s football season.

That’s right, the National Football League literally kicks off in a matter of hours, and this is when guys get to be guys again.

If you wonder why we love football so much, it’s as primordial as ooze:

  1. We get to dedicate a whole day to sitting on the couch watching TV, eating snacks and drinking cherry cosmos…. I mean beer.
  2. Gambling.  Whether it’s weekend parlays, fantasy football, or just a a pick-’em pool, it’s all about the betting.  No other sport allows you to devote 6 days to wagering on 16 games in 32 hours.  Besides, you can’t even bet other sports.  Dodgers are -1½ +150 tonight versus Houston… I don’t even know what that means?
  3. Monday Night Football – It gives us something to do while you’re watching Dancing with the Stars.
  4. Not everybody loves the Lakers.  Believe it or not, there’re a few people out there who hate the reigning champs.  If you hate the Kobe & Co., the NBA is pretty much unwatchable.  In football, everybody has a team, and every team has a chance with the parity in the NFL (get a hint, Bud).
  5. Football is our new Pastime.  Baseball is passé.  Don’t get me wrong, I love baseball, but the commissioner is running the sport in the ground.  Also, the bulk of the players seem like primadonas. Football is about work.  Hard work and Teamwork… values America still cherishes.  Besides, you can’t even tailgate in the MLB.  They’ll throw you in jail.

So, if I had any advice for you ladies for the next 17 weeks, it would be join a pick-‘em pool so you’ve got some skin in the game.  That will keep you vested enough that you can have conversations with your husband that a) make him feel smart and b) you seem sexy.  I bet you didn’t realize the phrase “How’d the Broncos do?” could be both intriguing and a turn-on to your lesser halves.

So here’s to another great NFL Season… We’ll catch back up with you in January.

p.s.  One more piece of advice… Keep your eye on the new harlot in his office.  She’s bad news.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. Jenelyn Russo permalink
    09/09/2010 4:42 pm

    I only watch college football. (Go Frogs!) Thank goodness we are hockey fans in this house. Is it October yet?

  2. 09/09/2010 5:43 pm

    TCU Horned Frogs or does Calaveras County have a team I don’t know about? I wish I could get into Hockey. I’ll give it a try next season.

    • Jenelyn Russo permalink
      09/09/2010 6:09 pm

      Ha! When one attends college in Texas, one has no choice but to become part of college football. Especially when one attended so long ago that TCU was part of the now defunct Southwest Conference. Those were the days. And to see TCU and Texas both in the top 5 in polling? We fans could only dream of this.

      For hockey, I will say this–I’m a newer fan to the game (2003) but I enjoy watching it more than any other sport. Especially live.

      • 09/09/2010 6:14 pm

        Hockey Live is quite a different animal… not quite a horned-frog, but a different animal still.

  3. 09/09/2010 9:54 pm

    We’ll be eatin’ poppers, drinkin’ beers, and bettin’ the over/under over here. Yay, for football!

  4. heisenman permalink
    09/09/2010 10:34 pm

    This is awesome… did my husband help you write this?

  5. Vodka and Ground Beef permalink
    09/10/2010 12:13 am

    CHERRY COSMOS!!!!! I love it. Not that’s funny.

  6. 09/10/2010 2:36 am

    Great Post! Don’t think the other way around, the reason is pretty much simple but true. It’s time once again for the football season to start for the late games and gatherings with sport fanatics and less time for cuddling.

  7. 09/13/2010 11:40 am

    Thank God my husband doesn’t watch sports! He likes to play them… so instead of hanging out in the comfort of my own home while he watches a game I’m stuck freezing in the bleachers watching 3 kiddos under 4 while “Daddy” gets to play. Wait a minute…

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