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Last Comic Sitting

07/27/2010

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We watch too much reality TV.  I’m not even embarrased about it anymore.  I embrace it. It’s like the girl in high school who’s known as the slut.  If you already have the lablel, you might as well fulfill the prophecy.  It’s not like they can re-attach a hymen… or can they?  Actually, I don’t even care…  I have a boy.

My point is….

Rhonda said I could go on the bachelorette if it would help my career. “Allie, I don’t ever want you to be alone.  (then, to camera) speaking of a loan, did you know that now is a great time to refinance?”

But I thought better of it.  I thought I’d have a better shot on Last Comic Standing.  But after watching the show, I’m rethinking that endeavor.  The talent is really good this year.  As it turns out, comedy is much harder to pull off than reality.  Especially when I don’t even write most of my material.  Rhonda does.

My set begins with the wife oozing jealousy over my navigation system.  The argument ensues something like this.

Wife: “Steve, turn right here” (while the docile British tones of the nav system tell me to continue forward).

Me: “But the she says ‘go straight?'”

Wife: “Whatever… then listen to your dash-whore.”

Then I go to one of my her bits:

So you know those huge balloons they always have outside of car dealerships?  Who’s the marketing genius that came up with that?  Because, what reasonable adult hasn’t driven by a 30-foot gorilla in boxer shorts and thought… “I want a Dodge Truck.”  Or who hasn’t needed the image of dancing hippo in a tutu and to unearth the obvious truth “I need a new Nissan?”

Is this thing on?  Yeah.  That’s what I thought.  Crickets.

Maybe I’ll stick to my day job.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. 08/05/2010 12:42 pm

    I definitely think you should be on the next Bachelor. If your wife really loves you, then she’ll understand. Then, when it’s down to the final two, you’ll introduce the women to your wife and she’ll get to throw in her two cents. It’ll be unlike anything in the show’s history. You’ll either be villified at the end or revered by mormon men wanting a more modern twist on the popular dating show. I say go for it.

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