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Man Card, Revoked

06/15/2010

Last night, I watched “The Bachelorette” with my wife.  I’ve already let that treacherous skeleton out of this closet, so this is not my egregious sin.  I actually had inspiration to write another post (read: indictment) on the ill-conceived ABC series, but I was distracted.  You ask by what?  Hot chicks on the Hot Chick channel?  No. Was it a Dodger game? Nope… they were off.  Not NHL playoffs; they’ve concluded.  And as we well know, the Lakers played (their asses off) tonight, not last night.

It was the Real Housewives of New Jersey and… wait for it… the Bravo after show where they gossip about said show.  After which, I watched the same gossip show on the Real Housewives of New York WHILE MY WIFE WAS ASLEEP on the couch.  I’d sworn those shows off in principle, but it was a train wreck from which I could not turn away.  It wasn’t even like I had watched 35 minutes and was thusly “pot committed” to finish.  I was hooked from minute one. So, all you TheBushReport readers (both of you) were robbed of my thoughts on last night’s episode of The Girl Next Whore… My apologies.

My penance?: Until I change my own oil, save a damsel or do something otherwise worthy of sporting dropping cajones, I turn in my “Man Card.”

For the record, I was going to wax the Bachelorette.  Ali McCrazy is now globe-trotting with the 11 9 remaining dudes.  Their cosmopolitan travels have taken this tool shed from Malibu to Manhattan, and next week to Iceland.  So much for reality.  If Ali truly wanted love, she’d go to Cleveland for 3 summer weeks in 95% humidity…  The dude that makes it out alive wins.

Kasey I also might have mentioned how this dude sounds like Kermit the Frog…. disturbing, really.  He did pledge to “guard her heart” several times.  When that ladle of cheese  went over like… cheese, he resorted to getting a tattoo of a rose on his arm… It worked.  The dingbat kept him.

Also, the weatherman brought a strong front of awkwardness with a 90% chance of pitiful… That didn’t so much work for the K-OOK meteorologist.

By the way, the Lakers kicked some serious ass tonight, and I’m going to buy some power tools tomorrow… Can I have my man card back now?

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Carolyn permalink
    06/15/2010 11:44 pm

    I actually laughed out loud. For real. Funny!

    • 06/15/2010 11:48 pm

      and I am crying on the inside… I’m going to trademark that expression… not LOL, but COTI.

  2. 06/16/2010 6:04 am

    It’s like you were born to blog. Oh that is BTB BTW.

    EXCELLENT

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